The Warm Night And The Open Expanse
The wind smelled of fresh rain and gently blew over my upturned face. I lingered, watching wide-eye’d at the stars and the moon’s brightness illuminating the edges of the clouds as they moved along. It’s January 22nd and I thought to myself what beautiful weather for this time of year. The open expanse all around me made me stop and soak in the night. I was alone. My heart was beating and I could feel it. I ran tonight. And it had been awhile. And my spirit became aware of its most desperate need and the cry became, “oh that I may know you and the power of your resurrection and the fellowship of your sufferings, being made like you in your death.” And even as those words came out of my mouth without prior thought, I felt that this is what I needed more than anything. This is what I was made for. This is what I want as my sole desire. Heart rate high and with it the true desire of the highest for my life here. To know Him.
I had taken off my contacts earlier in the evening and wore my glasses instead. I always feel that my depth-perception is off when I wear them and for contrast, I took them off for a bit here and there to gaze at the distant lights. They looked like big balls of dandelion in multiple colors and if I could blow on them, the fragments might have gone off into the wind in multiple directions. Even the moon look like a ball of fuzzy light. And I stopped running for a moment in the quiet of the night and prayed yet again for my eyes like I have for years and years. Oh what a miracle it would be to suddenly open them and find all to be sharp and clear. Reminded me of the blind man Jesus prayed for and after He finished, the blind man said, “I see men like trees, walking.” Then Jesus touched his eyes again and they were made whole. I long for the touch of Jesus. I ponder why it is we have such a hard time as people being undistracted and alone with Him. Is it because I can’t actually see Him? Maybe. But I’m always reminded in these pondering moments of the verse in Hebrews that is tucked in a strange place in the chapter (eleven) that speaks of the mighty men and women of God who did stuff.....”but without faith it is impossible to please Him, for anyone who approaches God must believe that there is a God and that He gives rewards to all who earnestly try to find Him.” The chapter goes on without a hitch to name several other men and women. What an interesting journey it is toward knowing God. Why is it that being out in nature and all alone can draw the deepest depths of the reality of my deepest need? And why doesn’t this happen more often?
I had taken off my contacts earlier in the evening and wore my glasses instead. I always feel that my depth-perception is off when I wear them and for contrast, I took them off for a bit here and there to gaze at the distant lights. They looked like big balls of dandelion in multiple colors and if I could blow on them, the fragments might have gone off into the wind in multiple directions. Even the moon look like a ball of fuzzy light. And I stopped running for a moment in the quiet of the night and prayed yet again for my eyes like I have for years and years. Oh what a miracle it would be to suddenly open them and find all to be sharp and clear. Reminded me of the blind man Jesus prayed for and after He finished, the blind man said, “I see men like trees, walking.” Then Jesus touched his eyes again and they were made whole. I long for the touch of Jesus. I ponder why it is we have such a hard time as people being undistracted and alone with Him. Is it because I can’t actually see Him? Maybe. But I’m always reminded in these pondering moments of the verse in Hebrews that is tucked in a strange place in the chapter (eleven) that speaks of the mighty men and women of God who did stuff.....”but without faith it is impossible to please Him, for anyone who approaches God must believe that there is a God and that He gives rewards to all who earnestly try to find Him.” The chapter goes on without a hitch to name several other men and women. What an interesting journey it is toward knowing God. Why is it that being out in nature and all alone can draw the deepest depths of the reality of my deepest need? And why doesn’t this happen more often?
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