Seeing "Self-Sufficiency" Bloom In Alone Times
There are precious times when we are forced to be alone. So often, we don't realize our addiction to approval and our dependency on others to make us happy and to give us a sense of self-worth. But when we find ourselves in a season of being alone, whether through a change of location or what once was a great time of people and then that turning deeply hurtful; maybe a time when your elderly parents need most of your attention and other things have to be laid aside; maybe your whole world got changed up like the twisting of a Rubix-cube; and there you find yourself alone. Though seemingly forced upon you, some of your decisions during these hard times are also chosen and you find yourself not wanting to make the effort to have to make new relationships.
But what if these times of being alone and the seeming self-sufficiency you found yourself to be in, became a stark contrast to to your once thrivingly dependent self and it has brought you to a place you'd never been before with yourself and with God? From the outside and to those who have never yet experienced their own aloneness season, you may seem to them as unhealthy, maybe even self-absorbed. You seem distant and aren't willing to just jump into the flow of the crowd and do what has always been expected of "good" Christians. You found in the seeming "self-sufficiency", a desperate need that only God could fill. It was a need that no one could fulfill, not even a spouse or child. In fact, not a single soul could identify with what you were going through even if you were able to articulately and concisely explain. And it was in that very place where God filled the need only He could as you poured out your deepest longing to Him. And it was beautiful. He became your truest, genuine and ever-constant friend. He was your comforter in every sense and your desperate need became your forever need. Your time with Him was so intensely deep and true that no one else satisfied and no other experience could compare.
And then He was everything. He flooded you with His presence and you could enjoy Him in everything, everywhere and through all the hardship. Nothing could move you from Him because you began to replace anything that tried with the reminder of His promises and your deep inner knowing that you are His child.
I've heard tell that many have experienced God in the hardest times of their life. To them, these times were the greatest treasure because in it, they found fulfillment in only Him.
Beloved, lean into Him when no one understands you. When you are so different than anyone else and you are rejected and no one could care less about your deepest inner cares. Lean on Him when you are talked about or slandered. Cry and share your heart with Him in your anguish. He will be there. And where He is, no one leaves unchanged. You will be changed. He will make an exchange....your baggage and the deep hurt and pain for Himself.
You will walk about in a bubble of His love that holds you secure. You can't blame others or your past like you used to. That kind of thinking was your captor before and kept you on the hamster-wheel of the need for constant approval and co-dependency. It kept you angry and easily offended. It held you prisoner and you couldn't give your heart to God fully because most of it held onto hurts of all kinds.
But what if these times of being alone and the seeming self-sufficiency you found yourself to be in, became a stark contrast to to your once thrivingly dependent self and it has brought you to a place you'd never been before with yourself and with God? From the outside and to those who have never yet experienced their own aloneness season, you may seem to them as unhealthy, maybe even self-absorbed. You seem distant and aren't willing to just jump into the flow of the crowd and do what has always been expected of "good" Christians. You found in the seeming "self-sufficiency", a desperate need that only God could fill. It was a need that no one could fulfill, not even a spouse or child. In fact, not a single soul could identify with what you were going through even if you were able to articulately and concisely explain. And it was in that very place where God filled the need only He could as you poured out your deepest longing to Him. And it was beautiful. He became your truest, genuine and ever-constant friend. He was your comforter in every sense and your desperate need became your forever need. Your time with Him was so intensely deep and true that no one else satisfied and no other experience could compare.
And then He was everything. He flooded you with His presence and you could enjoy Him in everything, everywhere and through all the hardship. Nothing could move you from Him because you began to replace anything that tried with the reminder of His promises and your deep inner knowing that you are His child.
I've heard tell that many have experienced God in the hardest times of their life. To them, these times were the greatest treasure because in it, they found fulfillment in only Him.
Beloved, lean into Him when no one understands you. When you are so different than anyone else and you are rejected and no one could care less about your deepest inner cares. Lean on Him when you are talked about or slandered. Cry and share your heart with Him in your anguish. He will be there. And where He is, no one leaves unchanged. You will be changed. He will make an exchange....your baggage and the deep hurt and pain for Himself.
You will walk about in a bubble of His love that holds you secure. You can't blame others or your past like you used to. That kind of thinking was your captor before and kept you on the hamster-wheel of the need for constant approval and co-dependency. It kept you angry and easily offended. It held you prisoner and you couldn't give your heart to God fully because most of it held onto hurts of all kinds.
God is. He is enough. He is life. It's not enough to read what others write or try hard to get on the next band-wagon of popular teaching or experience. Be alone with Him in your hard times and allow Him to be your everything. Then you won't want anything else.
And you will be a different person. A healthier one in so many ways.
And you will be a different person. A healthier one in so many ways.
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