Growth Blooms Exponentially In Fellowship with God and One Another In Small Groups
I remember the day I approached the associate pastor - the one who not only held small groups in his own home and came alongside other small groups, but who was also the pastoral care person and leader of all things that came along with that.
You see, my husband and I had always loved small groups from before we were married, all the way up to the point where we approached the pastor to express our desire to have people into our own home and begin to host others ourselves.
The first one we both enjoyed was in the homes of loving people from our church family. We met in different homes of those who came. We weren’t married and we’d meet up on the specified nights and my future husband and I would get to be together with these precious people who loved God. Sometimes the group would have a night together at a local park to play softball. We’d bring coolers and chairs and even though I’d never played softball, it stretched me and brought me out of my comfort zone with others. The older ladies with children would sit with me and I got to hear them chat and discuss their needs, their issues in marriage, see them having fun and laughing, answer their questions and bring my own questions and share my own personal struggles. They would pray with me and talk about these things. I grew in their company and will be forever grateful for these ladies who welcomed me into their lives and spoke into my life. When it was time for us to get married, the group threw us a wedding shower and pooled their money to get us a new microwave and other various things. When the big day of our wedding arrived, they all attended and had again pooled their money and purchased my first vacuum sweeper. It was such a blessing to move through life with a small group of those who loved Christ and could live out His life through practical and spiritual ways. I got to watch their kids when they were on vacation and help them with their various needs. It gave me a sense of being needed and a sense that I had purpose and beyond that, I found out a lot about myself and in their love and in that belonging, I found out some things about myself that I didn’t like and some of those things fell away in prayer to God. We continued to enjoy this group well after we were married.
When our oldest child was only four years old, we moved to a big city three hours south and found a lovely church that again believed that small groups were a key to so much growth. We joined one that was hosted by a wonderful couple with four children. This Mom home-schooled and she was just a wonderful and Christ-loving person who exuded this in every practical thing she did. I was so lonely having moved away from friends and family and in a time of my life where raising little kids had brought out some ugly things inside of me that needed healing. Other young moms attended this little group and some of us had babies at the same time. When I had my third child, this precious lady who was my house-group leader brought me five meals because most of the people in our group were having babies as well and busy with their little families. She sewed my baby daughter a christening dress by hand. It was to her place I drove to on that fateful day when the planes crashed into the twin towers and as I walked into her living room, the second plane had just plunged into the building. We sat together and just wondered what was going on. When she found out she had cancer and started to waste away, I was so heartbroken and learned how to earnestly pray. When I got the call that she had passed away at the tender age of 37, I cried like a baby. I had never lost someone that close to me. At her funeral I simply lost it and just exploded into tears in front of everyone. She had become so dear to my heart having been there for me in the dark depths of life and been my encourager and life-giving embodiment of Christ through seeing her life.
Our next group was led by another couple from that same church. The groups were called Nest Groups because our church at the time was in the Eagle Creek area. So “nest” felt warm and inviting. This couple opened their home to my family and others from the previous group. Becky had four children as well and home-schooled them. She was just a wonderful lady who made yummy food, welcomed us in like we were her own family, shared laughter and hugs and we’d talk about the sermon from the previous Sunday. Of course there was the outpouring of hard times each person went through as one of the ladies who was pregnant when I was, found out she had cancer and had to stop nursing and go through chemo. It was gut-wrenching for her since both her and I had lost our precious nest-group leader to cancer. So we all stood with her, stepped in and helped her as much as we could. There were nights where the ladies would go out on the town to see a movie, have dinner, stop at Starbucks (the ones in Indianapolis were open until midnight back then), and then sit in the car until the wee hours of the morning, just pouring out and sharing hearts with each other. Those nights were just what I needed in a time where my days were filled with the unceasing needs of my three kids and the financial hardships life threw our way. I grew in the accountability of being able to be honest with others who I felt loved me and they could speak into my life. When I found out in my pregnancy with my daughter that she had too much fluid on one side of her brain and that it could be the cause of some serious condition for her if the fluid continued, my nest-group leader asked if she could pray for me. She laid hands on my pregnant belly and prayed with passion for my precious baby. From that time on, every ultrasound found the fluid becoming less and less and I gave birth to a healthy and beautiful baby girl. What a blessing to rub elbows with others in a close knit group who you could share intimately with and be real with no matter what; people who didn’t judge you because they had issues of their own and understood life’s hardships and personal struggles.
When my husband lost his job and couldn’t find another airport job due to the 9-11 attack, the group was there for us and prayed with us for work. God was so faithful. I found a job at a Christian daycare and two of my children could go for almost free while I taught that year. My husband went to school and somehow by God’s graciousness, we made it through.
When even the schooling didn’t help with finding employment that was suitable, God opened the door for us to move back here to Goshen/Elkhart. What a joy it was to come back home after 6 years and be close to family and friends again....back to our home church.
This is the time where we felt ready to open our own home to others and welcome them and be a part of their lives, investing in others as we had been invested in.
We were not perfect by any means when we were given the green light by the pastor to open our home. We started hosting alongside a new couple to our church. They were an older couple whose children were all grown and they opened their home to host. Others did as well as they came into our little group. I had anger issues. I had a hard time keeping my house clean. Our marriage wasn’t perfect. I was still struggling with the religious roots that had taken hold of me through my upbringing. I had to be in control. I judged people more than I saw the blessing that they were. But in inviting others in and “leading” them, I wanted to be a trustworthy person who was the same at home as they saw me at church. I wanted to be the godly person God wanted me to be. But you see, if I had just gone to church on Sundays and had no opportunity to be close to others in a smaller group to be real with, I would not have grown as quickly as I did. I could have hidden so much from others and without that small group loving me and living life with me, I wouldn’t have expressed things and gotten it out in the open and worked it out. I wouldn’t have seen the need to work out in prayer to God things in my life that wasn’t level in areas both private and public. We hide so much without really realizing it until in the closeness with others and in their loving and open ears, we get to express those inner things. So much growth happens in everyone in the group as we learn much about praying for each other and supporting each other through those real and tough life issues. So much happens as we socialize in the presence of God and in the worship we do together and reading His word. The dynamics of all of it is more than I could ever express in words. Even when we mess up with one another, it gives us time to think about the situation deeply with God and the desire to change those things with Him. Just so much stuff! All of it benefits deep inner things and spiritual life and character building. Things like you begin to realize how valuable people are to you in the group and deep gratefulness occurs in you as you grow as a person.
As we continued opening our home to others, we learned so much as “leaders” (I put that in quotations because it’s better to come alongside others in humility than to have a title that can often tend to inflate personalities). The initial group got too large (20-25 people when it should be no more than half that) and eventually split into 5 over the years. In looking back, my biggest regret is not having nurtured the leaders who took on groups as we grew. I loved all those years and met so many people as they came into our church doors. There were so many tough things we all went through over those years. Life is messy and it doesn’tw work out like most of us think. But to be together. To do life-stuff together....to pray for one another and give to the needs and put our backs into it in the context of small groups that nurture trust and deep sharing. The growing around God’s Word and just wondering together what our identity in Christ is to
truly look like. How to shake off that ugly religion and live in the freedom that Christ’s Spirit gives.
I’m sure most that are close to me may tire of hearing this, but I miss it soooooooo much!!!!!
While we lived in Miami four years ago, we found a small group within a few minutes of us. That home was so amazingly loving. The dinners together once a week were just the best. Most coming in with a dish to share. The hugs as you crossed the threshold, the smiles and welcome as you brought your dish over to set besides the other dishes on the long counter. The coffee you made. The welcoming of others as they entered and making room for them and getting their dish for them and grabbing up children to love on. The sitting with one another to eat after holding hands in a circle to pray. The conversations while eating. The gathering in the living room to hear what’s going on in peoples lives and encouraging words from scripture given lovingly by host. The no-pressure to speak but only as those who wanted to could. The prayer as some had a hard time finding work or balancing difficult life-changes as people. The call each person began to feel as they grew and other homes opened doors for prayer/fellowship and opportunity for this one or that to lead. The ones who could lead worship and others who played instruments could join in. General life needs met. When it was time for us to leave Miami, seriously the whole group took time in the middle of their day, muscled all our furniture to the moving truck, helped pack, brought food and within a seeming short time, left us in a place where we could finish up the rest and drive the five hours north to our next life and destination. It was a beautiful thing. It always has been and always will be a beautiful journey with those in Christ who do life together in these small and intimate groups.
There is an amazing little booklet that I’ve read that was recommended by our small-group pastor many years ago. “The Power Of The Personal Group.” (Some of the primary spiritual dynamics that occur when those who love Jesus Christ meet in small groups to love and obey Him together). By G. Byron Deshler
Such a good booklet!
”When two or three, or eight persons meet in Christ’s name, there the Spirit of Christ is at work remaking human personalities after His image” (quote from above booklet)
You see, my husband and I had always loved small groups from before we were married, all the way up to the point where we approached the pastor to express our desire to have people into our own home and begin to host others ourselves.
The first one we both enjoyed was in the homes of loving people from our church family. We met in different homes of those who came. We weren’t married and we’d meet up on the specified nights and my future husband and I would get to be together with these precious people who loved God. Sometimes the group would have a night together at a local park to play softball. We’d bring coolers and chairs and even though I’d never played softball, it stretched me and brought me out of my comfort zone with others. The older ladies with children would sit with me and I got to hear them chat and discuss their needs, their issues in marriage, see them having fun and laughing, answer their questions and bring my own questions and share my own personal struggles. They would pray with me and talk about these things. I grew in their company and will be forever grateful for these ladies who welcomed me into their lives and spoke into my life. When it was time for us to get married, the group threw us a wedding shower and pooled their money to get us a new microwave and other various things. When the big day of our wedding arrived, they all attended and had again pooled their money and purchased my first vacuum sweeper. It was such a blessing to move through life with a small group of those who loved Christ and could live out His life through practical and spiritual ways. I got to watch their kids when they were on vacation and help them with their various needs. It gave me a sense of being needed and a sense that I had purpose and beyond that, I found out a lot about myself and in their love and in that belonging, I found out some things about myself that I didn’t like and some of those things fell away in prayer to God. We continued to enjoy this group well after we were married.
When our oldest child was only four years old, we moved to a big city three hours south and found a lovely church that again believed that small groups were a key to so much growth. We joined one that was hosted by a wonderful couple with four children. This Mom home-schooled and she was just a wonderful and Christ-loving person who exuded this in every practical thing she did. I was so lonely having moved away from friends and family and in a time of my life where raising little kids had brought out some ugly things inside of me that needed healing. Other young moms attended this little group and some of us had babies at the same time. When I had my third child, this precious lady who was my house-group leader brought me five meals because most of the people in our group were having babies as well and busy with their little families. She sewed my baby daughter a christening dress by hand. It was to her place I drove to on that fateful day when the planes crashed into the twin towers and as I walked into her living room, the second plane had just plunged into the building. We sat together and just wondered what was going on. When she found out she had cancer and started to waste away, I was so heartbroken and learned how to earnestly pray. When I got the call that she had passed away at the tender age of 37, I cried like a baby. I had never lost someone that close to me. At her funeral I simply lost it and just exploded into tears in front of everyone. She had become so dear to my heart having been there for me in the dark depths of life and been my encourager and life-giving embodiment of Christ through seeing her life.
Our next group was led by another couple from that same church. The groups were called Nest Groups because our church at the time was in the Eagle Creek area. So “nest” felt warm and inviting. This couple opened their home to my family and others from the previous group. Becky had four children as well and home-schooled them. She was just a wonderful lady who made yummy food, welcomed us in like we were her own family, shared laughter and hugs and we’d talk about the sermon from the previous Sunday. Of course there was the outpouring of hard times each person went through as one of the ladies who was pregnant when I was, found out she had cancer and had to stop nursing and go through chemo. It was gut-wrenching for her since both her and I had lost our precious nest-group leader to cancer. So we all stood with her, stepped in and helped her as much as we could. There were nights where the ladies would go out on the town to see a movie, have dinner, stop at Starbucks (the ones in Indianapolis were open until midnight back then), and then sit in the car until the wee hours of the morning, just pouring out and sharing hearts with each other. Those nights were just what I needed in a time where my days were filled with the unceasing needs of my three kids and the financial hardships life threw our way. I grew in the accountability of being able to be honest with others who I felt loved me and they could speak into my life. When I found out in my pregnancy with my daughter that she had too much fluid on one side of her brain and that it could be the cause of some serious condition for her if the fluid continued, my nest-group leader asked if she could pray for me. She laid hands on my pregnant belly and prayed with passion for my precious baby. From that time on, every ultrasound found the fluid becoming less and less and I gave birth to a healthy and beautiful baby girl. What a blessing to rub elbows with others in a close knit group who you could share intimately with and be real with no matter what; people who didn’t judge you because they had issues of their own and understood life’s hardships and personal struggles.
When my husband lost his job and couldn’t find another airport job due to the 9-11 attack, the group was there for us and prayed with us for work. God was so faithful. I found a job at a Christian daycare and two of my children could go for almost free while I taught that year. My husband went to school and somehow by God’s graciousness, we made it through.
When even the schooling didn’t help with finding employment that was suitable, God opened the door for us to move back here to Goshen/Elkhart. What a joy it was to come back home after 6 years and be close to family and friends again....back to our home church.
This is the time where we felt ready to open our own home to others and welcome them and be a part of their lives, investing in others as we had been invested in.
We were not perfect by any means when we were given the green light by the pastor to open our home. We started hosting alongside a new couple to our church. They were an older couple whose children were all grown and they opened their home to host. Others did as well as they came into our little group. I had anger issues. I had a hard time keeping my house clean. Our marriage wasn’t perfect. I was still struggling with the religious roots that had taken hold of me through my upbringing. I had to be in control. I judged people more than I saw the blessing that they were. But in inviting others in and “leading” them, I wanted to be a trustworthy person who was the same at home as they saw me at church. I wanted to be the godly person God wanted me to be. But you see, if I had just gone to church on Sundays and had no opportunity to be close to others in a smaller group to be real with, I would not have grown as quickly as I did. I could have hidden so much from others and without that small group loving me and living life with me, I wouldn’t have expressed things and gotten it out in the open and worked it out. I wouldn’t have seen the need to work out in prayer to God things in my life that wasn’t level in areas both private and public. We hide so much without really realizing it until in the closeness with others and in their loving and open ears, we get to express those inner things. So much growth happens in everyone in the group as we learn much about praying for each other and supporting each other through those real and tough life issues. So much happens as we socialize in the presence of God and in the worship we do together and reading His word. The dynamics of all of it is more than I could ever express in words. Even when we mess up with one another, it gives us time to think about the situation deeply with God and the desire to change those things with Him. Just so much stuff! All of it benefits deep inner things and spiritual life and character building. Things like you begin to realize how valuable people are to you in the group and deep gratefulness occurs in you as you grow as a person.
As we continued opening our home to others, we learned so much as “leaders” (I put that in quotations because it’s better to come alongside others in humility than to have a title that can often tend to inflate personalities). The initial group got too large (20-25 people when it should be no more than half that) and eventually split into 5 over the years. In looking back, my biggest regret is not having nurtured the leaders who took on groups as we grew. I loved all those years and met so many people as they came into our church doors. There were so many tough things we all went through over those years. Life is messy and it doesn’tw work out like most of us think. But to be together. To do life-stuff together....to pray for one another and give to the needs and put our backs into it in the context of small groups that nurture trust and deep sharing. The growing around God’s Word and just wondering together what our identity in Christ is to
truly look like. How to shake off that ugly religion and live in the freedom that Christ’s Spirit gives.
I’m sure most that are close to me may tire of hearing this, but I miss it soooooooo much!!!!!
While we lived in Miami four years ago, we found a small group within a few minutes of us. That home was so amazingly loving. The dinners together once a week were just the best. Most coming in with a dish to share. The hugs as you crossed the threshold, the smiles and welcome as you brought your dish over to set besides the other dishes on the long counter. The coffee you made. The welcoming of others as they entered and making room for them and getting their dish for them and grabbing up children to love on. The sitting with one another to eat after holding hands in a circle to pray. The conversations while eating. The gathering in the living room to hear what’s going on in peoples lives and encouraging words from scripture given lovingly by host. The no-pressure to speak but only as those who wanted to could. The prayer as some had a hard time finding work or balancing difficult life-changes as people. The call each person began to feel as they grew and other homes opened doors for prayer/fellowship and opportunity for this one or that to lead. The ones who could lead worship and others who played instruments could join in. General life needs met. When it was time for us to leave Miami, seriously the whole group took time in the middle of their day, muscled all our furniture to the moving truck, helped pack, brought food and within a seeming short time, left us in a place where we could finish up the rest and drive the five hours north to our next life and destination. It was a beautiful thing. It always has been and always will be a beautiful journey with those in Christ who do life together in these small and intimate groups.
There is an amazing little booklet that I’ve read that was recommended by our small-group pastor many years ago. “The Power Of The Personal Group.” (Some of the primary spiritual dynamics that occur when those who love Jesus Christ meet in small groups to love and obey Him together). By G. Byron Deshler
Such a good booklet!
”When two or three, or eight persons meet in Christ’s name, there the Spirit of Christ is at work remaking human personalities after His image” (quote from above booklet)
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