A Doorway To Quiet
God has been taking me down
a path that leads to quiet places
in the last three years.
Its been quite a process as He had
to untangle me from the noise of ambition and the clutter of a mindset that had been programmed to think things had to be a certain way to gain approval within a certain group.
Silence has been a very dear friend of mine but it took some time for it to feel like a friend. At first, I felt it was the enemy and longed to find a place to be activated and busy in. But God graciously closed all the doors except the one to this unknown territory that only He knew I needed. As I began the journey down the path to quiet, I felt guilty at first. The peace was ever so sweet. There was a gentle wind that flowed so softly and kept me refreshed. It didn't push me to go faster but let me bask in every breath. It was as if every moment slowed down in a state of slow motion and the wonders I saw and felt transformed me on the inside and I experienced a deep joy in each moment. It didn't matter what was going on around me or was said or wasn't said. It didn't matter if anyone liked or disliked me. It didn't matter if things made sense or if I felt fulfilled. I was in a bubble, so to speak. Maybe it could be described similarly to how David described when He yearned for the courts of the Lord and for a place near Gods alter. Just near to God's presence. Interestingly enough, this whole experience coincided with some harsh realities going on in and around me as there was deep loneliness because I had none of my friends I had known or family anywhere near the area. There was the homesickness and if I'd even think about the community and my oldest son I left behind, my heart would seize and it was hard to breath. Or the times I'd be out at a store and look around to find myself surrounded by strangers all speaking another language and the stares of being a tall white American girl and panic tried to hit me and make me want to drop my stuff and run out of the place. The times going out when I knew I wouldn't meet a single person I knew. The depression that would hit as I'd go home after dropping the kids off at school and know that not a single person I knew would simply stop by and hang out. And the knowledge that it would be like that often. The anxiety of struggling with loss in so many forms. Living on an income that only covered bills and groceries. Finding joy in the challenge of cooking and cooking foods that were budget- friendly but yet healthy for the family.
In all this, God guided me through His doorway of quiet waters and His peace that passes all understanding. His quiet, His peace, truly guarded my heart and mind in Christ and let me experience a grain of pure life-giving treasure of the glory of who He is.
There is something to be said about the seasons of life and the journey He takes us on. It isn't something that in this moment, when we look back, we would want to say we would go back and change, because He is so right when He says all things work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. Everything we go through in this life with God can give us a perspective in it that helps change us forever. It's valuable. It has meaning. If we hadn't gone through this thing or that and life had been easy, we wouldn't get to see the beautiful contrast of the sweetness of Him in and through it all. This causes us to fall in love with Him more as over time, we find HIM to be faithful and His steadfast, unfailing love has truly been ever-present.
I think about a missionary named Amy Carmichael who lived a life of such purpose and saved so many children and housed them and did so much for the work of God. Then one day, she fell and broke her leg. It weakened her body and she was bedridden for many many years until the end of her life. Her work, the work she felt was hers and needed her alone, continued as others took up the slack. But during those years, she heard God and spent countless hours with Him. She experienced the doorway to His precious heartbeat and she wrote many books that we treasure to this day. She found the joy of her Savior and His deep, enduring peace in those quiet years.
She wrote this "It is a safe thing to trust Him to fulfill the desires which He creates." "Blessed are the single-hearted, for they shall enjoy much peace. If you refuse to be hurried and pressed, if you stay your soul on God, nothing can keep you from that clearness of spirit which is life and peace. In that stillness you will know what His will is." "The word comfort is from two Latin words meaning 'with' and 'strong' - He is with us to make us strong. Comfort is not soft, weakening commiseration; it is true, strengthening love." How much God spoke to her during her down time here on earth. In the quiet of surrender she heard the treasure of Him speaking.
Oh quiet. Sometimes I feel like you aren't very productive and I'm tempted to go out and produce some doing that gains the approval that I sometimes crave. But then I'd be turning my back on the hard yet tremendously valuable doorway God took me through and back to the old way of life - from the quiet place back to busyness for busyness sake. From the approval that I've found in God to the temperamental approval of others.
The link is the brief story of Amy's life. Enjoy!
http://www.christianvoice.org.uk/index.php/heroes-of-faith/
a path that leads to quiet places
in the last three years.
Its been quite a process as He had
to untangle me from the noise of ambition and the clutter of a mindset that had been programmed to think things had to be a certain way to gain approval within a certain group.
Silence has been a very dear friend of mine but it took some time for it to feel like a friend. At first, I felt it was the enemy and longed to find a place to be activated and busy in. But God graciously closed all the doors except the one to this unknown territory that only He knew I needed. As I began the journey down the path to quiet, I felt guilty at first. The peace was ever so sweet. There was a gentle wind that flowed so softly and kept me refreshed. It didn't push me to go faster but let me bask in every breath. It was as if every moment slowed down in a state of slow motion and the wonders I saw and felt transformed me on the inside and I experienced a deep joy in each moment. It didn't matter what was going on around me or was said or wasn't said. It didn't matter if anyone liked or disliked me. It didn't matter if things made sense or if I felt fulfilled. I was in a bubble, so to speak. Maybe it could be described similarly to how David described when He yearned for the courts of the Lord and for a place near Gods alter. Just near to God's presence. Interestingly enough, this whole experience coincided with some harsh realities going on in and around me as there was deep loneliness because I had none of my friends I had known or family anywhere near the area. There was the homesickness and if I'd even think about the community and my oldest son I left behind, my heart would seize and it was hard to breath. Or the times I'd be out at a store and look around to find myself surrounded by strangers all speaking another language and the stares of being a tall white American girl and panic tried to hit me and make me want to drop my stuff and run out of the place. The times going out when I knew I wouldn't meet a single person I knew. The depression that would hit as I'd go home after dropping the kids off at school and know that not a single person I knew would simply stop by and hang out. And the knowledge that it would be like that often. The anxiety of struggling with loss in so many forms. Living on an income that only covered bills and groceries. Finding joy in the challenge of cooking and cooking foods that were budget- friendly but yet healthy for the family.
In all this, God guided me through His doorway of quiet waters and His peace that passes all understanding. His quiet, His peace, truly guarded my heart and mind in Christ and let me experience a grain of pure life-giving treasure of the glory of who He is.
There is something to be said about the seasons of life and the journey He takes us on. It isn't something that in this moment, when we look back, we would want to say we would go back and change, because He is so right when He says all things work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. Everything we go through in this life with God can give us a perspective in it that helps change us forever. It's valuable. It has meaning. If we hadn't gone through this thing or that and life had been easy, we wouldn't get to see the beautiful contrast of the sweetness of Him in and through it all. This causes us to fall in love with Him more as over time, we find HIM to be faithful and His steadfast, unfailing love has truly been ever-present.
I think about a missionary named Amy Carmichael who lived a life of such purpose and saved so many children and housed them and did so much for the work of God. Then one day, she fell and broke her leg. It weakened her body and she was bedridden for many many years until the end of her life. Her work, the work she felt was hers and needed her alone, continued as others took up the slack. But during those years, she heard God and spent countless hours with Him. She experienced the doorway to His precious heartbeat and she wrote many books that we treasure to this day. She found the joy of her Savior and His deep, enduring peace in those quiet years.
She wrote this "It is a safe thing to trust Him to fulfill the desires which He creates." "Blessed are the single-hearted, for they shall enjoy much peace. If you refuse to be hurried and pressed, if you stay your soul on God, nothing can keep you from that clearness of spirit which is life and peace. In that stillness you will know what His will is." "The word comfort is from two Latin words meaning 'with' and 'strong' - He is with us to make us strong. Comfort is not soft, weakening commiseration; it is true, strengthening love." How much God spoke to her during her down time here on earth. In the quiet of surrender she heard the treasure of Him speaking.
Oh quiet. Sometimes I feel like you aren't very productive and I'm tempted to go out and produce some doing that gains the approval that I sometimes crave. But then I'd be turning my back on the hard yet tremendously valuable doorway God took me through and back to the old way of life - from the quiet place back to busyness for busyness sake. From the approval that I've found in God to the temperamental approval of others.
The link is the brief story of Amy's life. Enjoy!
http://www.christianvoice.org.uk/index.php/heroes-of-faith/
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