Thoughts On The Reality of Grappling With God
Down deep in our depths, for a child of God, there is an earnest call to come closer, to desire genuine reality and to know God as we have never known Him before.
Sometimes, when the wheel of life stops spinning for a bit and we find ourselves alone with Him, we can feel the tug of this call on our spirit.
Sometimes I find my responses, in these moments to His call to know Him, are motivated after I've spent time soaking in His Words in the Bible. There is this beautiful fountain of yes flowing from Him (we sometimes call faith), and that gap we often feel between that depth of closeness we long for and the reality of it is given a lifeline. Through His yes, we grab hold of that line and we begin the ascent toward His heartbeat.
Often in this process, what we initially experience is so precious to us that the moment we feel our spirit satiated with a little bit of His fountain, our dry and cracked spirit is revived enough that it is almost overwhelming. And we back off unwittingly to revel in the fact we felt the reality of God for a bit.
But what if this grappling with God was given a fuller allowance? What if we stayed in this time with Him and let Him pull us ever more closely to His heartbeat?
As I think of Jacob who wrestled with God and did not let Him go, I yearn for the touch of God upon my life in such a way that I am forever marked. That my name would no longer be the one that I was born with in all of its insecurities and issues, but that I would be the woman God has in mind that I be. I want to know the fullness of being a new creation in Christ - fully in love with Him in a lifeline that nothing or no one could separate.
The apostle Paul spoke of an upward call. Interesting that the upward call is an inward call in the depth of our being that is truly the real reason we exist. Paul heard it and grappled with God and was "reeled in" so to speak - like a big saltwater, deep-sea fish that had struggled so hard against the line for so long but when it finally used up most of its strength, it was brought onto the boat for the delight of the fisherman.
How often has God spoken of this one and that who have grappled with Him and won? He has boasted of these precious men and women like a fisherman whose picture is framed on the pier holding up their prized catch.
Look at David. "God testified concerning him: ‘I have found David son of Jesse, a man after my own heart; he will do everything I want him to do.’" Acts 13:22
Here was a life that grappled with his God and gained the blessing of a life enriched with fellowship with Him. David's life overflowed with the fountain of the heart of God. He wrote the most beautiful poetry of songs that we all love and they nourish our lives with God to this very day.
Jacob wrestled with a man and would not let go of Him until he was forever changed. "Then the man said, 'your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with men and have overcome.'" Genesis 32:28
The name God Himself changed Jacobs' to, remains to this day. The nation of Israel.
How many others grappled with the gap between them and God and won God's approval? Look at Abram. He heard the inward call and left all he had ever known to go where he didn't even have a clue about the destination. His name was changed to Abraham. He was no longer the same person he was before he heard God's inward call. He held that lifeline fast and the sweet surrender brought about a life that God Himself was pleased with. It moved Gods heart.
Don't let go in the times when God wants to grapple with you. Like Jacob, don't let God go until you are touched by Him and changed forever. His Word, in fellowship with Him in these precious life-giving promises, provides you with courage to let Him reel you in and become one with Him. Like the song lyrics, "softly and tenderly Jesus is calling." He is calling you. He isn't calling you to a life of religious service and the busyness of charitable acts. He calls you to know Him and be rejuvenated in the fountain that He is. He wants you bathed in the Life of His refreshing water, soaking through and through with it splashing onto others. But the focus my dear friend, is never on the overflow but on the One that words can barely describe as to who He fully is. We can feel the sun on our skin. We can lift our face and let the warm rays soak through. We cry in worship as He is doing something in us that is so precious. We can have those undistracted moments where the quiet is so thick in the midnight hours that you almost feel like you can cut it with a knife. Keep seeking and you will find. The hearts best moments are found in the beautiful connection we have with God wherever we find ourselves. This grappling with God is never without being richly rewarded.
Sometimes, when the wheel of life stops spinning for a bit and we find ourselves alone with Him, we can feel the tug of this call on our spirit.
Sometimes I find my responses, in these moments to His call to know Him, are motivated after I've spent time soaking in His Words in the Bible. There is this beautiful fountain of yes flowing from Him (we sometimes call faith), and that gap we often feel between that depth of closeness we long for and the reality of it is given a lifeline. Through His yes, we grab hold of that line and we begin the ascent toward His heartbeat.
Often in this process, what we initially experience is so precious to us that the moment we feel our spirit satiated with a little bit of His fountain, our dry and cracked spirit is revived enough that it is almost overwhelming. And we back off unwittingly to revel in the fact we felt the reality of God for a bit.
But what if this grappling with God was given a fuller allowance? What if we stayed in this time with Him and let Him pull us ever more closely to His heartbeat?
As I think of Jacob who wrestled with God and did not let Him go, I yearn for the touch of God upon my life in such a way that I am forever marked. That my name would no longer be the one that I was born with in all of its insecurities and issues, but that I would be the woman God has in mind that I be. I want to know the fullness of being a new creation in Christ - fully in love with Him in a lifeline that nothing or no one could separate.
The apostle Paul spoke of an upward call. Interesting that the upward call is an inward call in the depth of our being that is truly the real reason we exist. Paul heard it and grappled with God and was "reeled in" so to speak - like a big saltwater, deep-sea fish that had struggled so hard against the line for so long but when it finally used up most of its strength, it was brought onto the boat for the delight of the fisherman.
How often has God spoken of this one and that who have grappled with Him and won? He has boasted of these precious men and women like a fisherman whose picture is framed on the pier holding up their prized catch.
Look at David. "God testified concerning him: ‘I have found David son of Jesse, a man after my own heart; he will do everything I want him to do.’" Acts 13:22
Here was a life that grappled with his God and gained the blessing of a life enriched with fellowship with Him. David's life overflowed with the fountain of the heart of God. He wrote the most beautiful poetry of songs that we all love and they nourish our lives with God to this very day.
Jacob wrestled with a man and would not let go of Him until he was forever changed. "Then the man said, 'your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with men and have overcome.'" Genesis 32:28
The name God Himself changed Jacobs' to, remains to this day. The nation of Israel.
How many others grappled with the gap between them and God and won God's approval? Look at Abram. He heard the inward call and left all he had ever known to go where he didn't even have a clue about the destination. His name was changed to Abraham. He was no longer the same person he was before he heard God's inward call. He held that lifeline fast and the sweet surrender brought about a life that God Himself was pleased with. It moved Gods heart.
Don't let go in the times when God wants to grapple with you. Like Jacob, don't let God go until you are touched by Him and changed forever. His Word, in fellowship with Him in these precious life-giving promises, provides you with courage to let Him reel you in and become one with Him. Like the song lyrics, "softly and tenderly Jesus is calling." He is calling you. He isn't calling you to a life of religious service and the busyness of charitable acts. He calls you to know Him and be rejuvenated in the fountain that He is. He wants you bathed in the Life of His refreshing water, soaking through and through with it splashing onto others. But the focus my dear friend, is never on the overflow but on the One that words can barely describe as to who He fully is. We can feel the sun on our skin. We can lift our face and let the warm rays soak through. We cry in worship as He is doing something in us that is so precious. We can have those undistracted moments where the quiet is so thick in the midnight hours that you almost feel like you can cut it with a knife. Keep seeking and you will find. The hearts best moments are found in the beautiful connection we have with God wherever we find ourselves. This grappling with God is never without being richly rewarded.
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